In short
An online partner who can't meet or video call, then needs money. Learn the warning signs of romance scams and how to talk to someone you're worried about.
Top warning signs: Can't video call or meet; Moves fast emotionally; Any request for money, gift cards or crypto.
First thing to do: Do a reverse image search of their photos. Stolen images often turn up under other names.
How the scam works
Romance scammers use stolen photos and invented jobs that explain why they are far away: military posts, offshore engineering, international medicine. They move quickly to private chat and talk every day.
Money requests start small or come as a “chance to invest together”. They always come with a reason why video calls or meetings keep falling through.
Red flags to look for
- Can't video call or meet. Excuses every time: bad connection, camera broken, security rules.
- Moves fast emotionally. Declarations of love within days or weeks.
- Any request for money, gift cards or crypto. Including “investing together” or paying fees for them.
- Stories about customs, inheritances or frozen accounts. Classic script elements.
What to do if you get one
- Do a reverse image search of their photos. Stolen images often turn up under other names.
- Insist on a live video call before any further contact. Genuine people agree.
- Talk to a friend you trust. Scammers try to isolate you.
Worried about a friend or parent?
Arguing about whether the partner is real often pushes people closer to the scammer. Ask gentle questions instead: “Have you seen them on video?” “What would happen if you said no to this payment?” Offer to do a photo search together.
If you already paid or shared details
Act quickly. It makes a difference.
- Stop sending money and report to your bank and the police.
- Report the profile to the dating site or app.
- Be kind to yourself. These criminals are professionals, and victims are often smart, generous people.
More help: what to do after a scam, and where to report it in your country.
How to protect yourself next time
Watch for anyone using your identity
If you shared ID documents, card details or a Social Security number, monitoring can alert you when someone opens credit or accounts in your name.
Free: In the US, a credit freeze at Equifax, Experian and TransUnion is free and blocks most new-credit fraud. Elsewhere, ask your bank and your credit reference agency about fraud alerts.
- Aura Partner link US identity theft protection with credit monitoring and fraud insurance.
Take your details off data broker sites
Scammers buy phone numbers, home addresses and family details from people-search and data broker sites. The less of that is public, the fewer and less convincing the scam messages you get.
Free: You can ask each site to delete your details yourself. In the EU and the UK, data protection law gives you that right.
- Incogni Partner link Sends removal requests to data brokers for you, and keeps sending them.
Compare the tools that help, and what each costs
Links marked Partner link may earn us a commission, at no cost to you. It never changes our advice, and the free option always comes first. Affiliate disclosure.
Questions people ask
They sent me a photo of their ID. Is that proof?
No. Fake and stolen ID images are easy to find or create.
Have you had this one?
Tell other people what the message said and how it reached you. It helps someone recognise it before they tap.
No stories yet. Yours could be the one that warns someone.
Official sources and further reading
We check our guides against advice from government agencies and consumer protection bodies.
- What To Know About Romance Scams (US Federal Trade Commission)
- Relationship scams (Scamwatch, Australian Competition and Consumer Commission)
- Romance fraud (Report Fraud, UK police)
